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Neither Astrid nor Mitchell were raised with very much "organized" religion, but when they began to plan their wedding, being married in a church became increasingly important to them both. Finding a church to accommodate their ceremony posed a challenge because Mitchell and Astrid were not members of a specific congregation. After much searching, Astrid and Mitchell settled upon a venue offering space to hold the ceremony outdoors as well as host their reception. As we worked together to craft their ceremony, we found selections that incorporated elements of a traditional Christian wedding, and we discovered contemporary readings reflecting their shared love of poetry. In all, we created a wedding ceremony speaking to their beliefs as well as reflecting their identity as a couple.
Admittedly, Laura had never even considered planning a wedding while Caroline had always envisioned every detail down to each of the flowers she would carry in her bridal bouquet. However, when they decided to declare their commitment to one another before Spirit and a gathering of their loving family and devoted friends, the first task was to find an officiant willing to work with them. Although the state of Maryland has yet to recognize same sex marriage, Caroline and Laura's ceremony is one of the most beautiful weddings I have been honored to attend. The selections they chose with which to sanctify their relationship and their devotion to one another were so appropriate to their life philosophies and experiences. Such a moving, uplifting and inspiring demonstration of love and commitment is a wonder to witness, indeed.
with Inclusion of Children
Three things were immediately clear upon meeting with Eleanor and Jonathan. First, weaving components of Eleanor's Jewish heritage through their ceremony was imperative. And although Jonathan had found Buddhism late in life, his faith was equally important. Finally, this was a second marriage for both, and they wanted to honor their children during the ceremony. The customs of marrying beneath a chuppah and "breaking the glass" appealed to the couple, and we found appropriate readings and rituals to reflect Jonathan's Eastern philosophy. Together, we created a ceremony that beautifully expressed who Eleanor and Jonathan were before they met . . . who they are now that they have joined their lives . . . and who they shall become as they walk the shared path of marriage and family with their sons, Alex and Gregory.
Neither Marla nor Tyler wanted a traditional marriage ceremony, and yet, neither knew exactly what they wanted their ceremony to be. In discussing their childhoods, backgrounds and beliefs, I learned that each of them had always been drawn toward more earth-based faiths. Both expressed interest in the idea of a "handfasting" ceremony. Although the tradition of handfasting is commonly linked to the Celts, research reveals that many cultures --- Buddhists, Catholics, Hindus and African-Americans, among them --- include a handfasting or binding ritual in their wedding sacraments. The terms "tying the knot" and "give his/her hand in marriage" stem from this ancient wedding custom. We worked together to write a handfasting ceremony reflecting their individuality, spirituality, and commitment to one another.
Vow renewals are among the most wonderful ceremonies to write. The couple wishing to renew their vows comes to the task with their eyes wide open, intimately familiar with the blessings and the challenges of marriage. For Leigh and Carl, celebrating their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary with a vow renewal was something they had joked about for years. When we sat down to work through their selections, I was pleasantly surprised by how thoughtful and emotional they were regarding how they wanted to express their feelings. I suggested the excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit, unsure how they would react. It could not have been more appropriate; there wasn't a dry eye in the house.
© Copyright 2004 Amanda Tate. All Rights Reserved.
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